intentional screen time for kids
It’s important to be discerning and wise when it comes to screen time. The issue is complex, nuanced, and controversial. This topic has been on my heart for a long time to share a few ways in which our family has put boundaries around screens. Over time, these decisions have led us to witness great fruit in the lives of our children and family!
The main question parents must ask themselves is:
“Are we considering the bigger picture of screen time use or making decisions based on temporary benefits?
It is easy to give in to screen time for short term relief in overwhelming or frustrating moments. However, as parents we must keep the grand scheme of things at the forefront of our decision making.
So today I am sharing 3 rhythms we adopted when our kids were very young as we were intentionally considering screen time.
Rhythm #1 - We eliminate screens in the car and at restaurants
Screens have stolen some of the most valuable times to intentionally parent and bring up conversations with your kids, and two of those critical times are while eating meals or in the car.
These are two opportunities to invest in your kids that are naturally built into your day that I fear many of us aren’t taking advantage of. Many incredible things are happening in their minds while they are watching out the window at the world around them or to have the privilege to hear them share their thoughts and hearts with us during these otherwise forgotten moments.
With 3 boys there have been numerous times we have left a restaurant certain we are in fact an actual circus.
However, restaurants and eating meals together should be viewed as a chance to teach our children manners, how to converse with others and order their food, and how to compromise and listen before speaking. I wish I could say my kids are perfectly behaved at mealtimes, but I’m confident that they are learning valuable life lessons by enjoying a meal with others without the distractions of a screen.
Rhythm #2 - We actively choose to give them many real life experiences in leiu of digital experiences.
When thinking of this, I often picture an old fashioned beam balance scale.
I desire to fill our families life with more positive real life experiences that far outweigh digital experiences.
To combat this seemingly uphill battle:
We can create many traditions that everyone looks forward to.
Spend as much time outdoors and in nature as possible.
Get together with friends and community as often as you can.
Visit the library, musuems, and parks frequently.
And the list can go on.
Be the parent that tips the scales towards making boundaries for your family and sticking to them. Expose your kids to sports, the arts, and enriching and engaging experiences. Instill in them a love for life, love for others, and your family values.
As parents, we have the privilege to tip the scales towards creating real life experiences that leaves them inspired, curious and engaged.
Create a balance in their life where it’s obvious that living life to the fullest far outweighs the pull towards a life of screens.
Rhythem #3 - We eliminate screens in the mornings and before bedtime.
There are countless studies that outline the benefits of delaying screen time upon waking up and allowing your mind to rest and reset before falling asleep. There are numerous documented benefits to our emotional and mental well being. One thing we have implemented is a “quiet time” as a rhythm in our day that you could easily add first thing in the morning or at bedtime. You can read more about that here.
Kids rely on us to be the adults while they are still vulnerable and impressionable. Children want to make the decisions that feel good in the “now”, whereas adults should be able to make the decisions that are harder now, but we know are good for us in the long run.
Parents, I hope you feel empowered to take control of screen time in your home.
Be sure to communicate to your kids why you are holding to the boundaries you place for your family.
They understand so much more than we give them credit for.
We want to be told that one thing to do. Or one thing not to do. Or the one-size-fits all answer when it comes to screens and our kids. But there is no such thing. Parenting is not easy and it was never meant to be. Instill in your kids the beliefs and values you hold dear, whilst doing what we can to understand the challenges we face today.
And most importantly, pray for wisdom and discernment in these areas and trust that God will guide you.
Katharine Birbalsingh said,
“I believe children’s freedoms should be restricted so that later in life they can be truly free.”
On this journey with you,
Rachel
P.S.
Here are some incredible book recommendations along this topic that I have thoroughly enjoyed and been challenged by.
Let them be Kids by Jessica Smartt
The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt
Glow Kids by Nicholas Kardaras